Last month I received two different e-mails telling me to keep my eyes on the night sky in the coming weeks because the planet Mars will be closer to the earth in August than ever before in recorded history, due to an eccentricity in its orbit. So close will the red planet be, in fact, that - with the exception of the moon - it will be the brightest object in the night sky.
One of the e-mails even claimed that Mars would look as big as the moon itself, and the event would culminate on Aug. 27.
Being a lover of astronomy, I became quite excited with this news. I even e-mailed my dad about it, because my sister and I had bought him a telescope for his birthday last year. I even planned to write an article reminding people about the event.
Luckily, I researched the subject, as I often do when I hear a bit of news from a questionable source.
Come to find out, the letter that’s been circulating was three years old. I also found that at no point in time could Mars ever come close enough to Earth to rival the size of our moon. Someone’s wishful thinking, or idea of a joke, I assume.
Frustrated, this got me thinking of how easily we humans tend to believe everything we hear. Had I not done my research, I’d probably be one of the hundreds of fools standing out on his lawn in the dark this Sunday, wondering why Mars doesn’t look much different than it usually does; just a twinkling little red light.
Erroneous e-mails are nothing new. Most of us have heard the one that warns people to be careful when they check for change at a payphone, or sit in a movie theater chair, because an infected syringe might be hidden in them. Turns out that no such thing has ever happened. It’s nothing more than a little e-mail terrorism. While not every chain letter is as drastic, it just goes to show you can’t always believe everything you hear, no matter what the source.
Most e-mails come from friends and relatives, warning you of an event or sharing some exciting news with you. But who did they hear it from? And the person before that, and the person before that, etcetera?
People are inherently gullible. Lord knows I am. Someone once told me the word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary, and I said “Really?” before I got the joke.
But we all like to be a little gullible. We like to believe tasty rumors and creepy urban legends, and we relish passing the news along to someone else because it makes us look like we know everything.
Rumors, lies, myths, urban legends, folklore, old wives tales... whatever you want to call them, we’ve all fallen for their allure and mystery. It doesn’t take much. Especially in the age of e-mail and instant messaging. Anyone can hop on their computer right now and shoot off a chain letter that tells people to beware of killer frogs, or man-eating dust storms, or alien spacecraft seen kidnapping cattle over Freesoil. And somewhere, someone will be dumb enough to believe it, pass it along to another dozen yahoos, and so on.
And yet we all love a chance to eat up a good tale. Whether it’s just a simple e-mail foretelling an event that’s never going to come, a good old fashioned ghost story, or an age old legend passed down from generations, there’s something inherently enticing that we humans find in all things strange and outlandish.
Some tales have survived a long time, like the story of a man who brings home a rare cactus from Mexico, only to have it explode in his yard, dispersing dozens of giant tarantulas everywhere.
Others stories are new and reflect more modern fears, like the story of people being drugged and waking up in a bathtub of ice water, a small scar in their sides, and a note taped to a phone nearby that says “We needed your live kidney to sell on the black market. Use the phone to call an ambulance.”
Then there’s tales of legends that have become a part of our very psyche, from Bigfoot to the Bermuda Triangle.
Even Michigan has its share of myths, legends and folklore. There’s “Pressie,” the Great Lakes’ version of the Loch Ness Monster, and the “Michigan Triangle” just off the coast of Ludington. Detroit has it’s own legends of werewolves, passed down from French settlers. Even our area has the famous “Dog Man,” who most locals will tell you actually exsists. Even I think I spotted Dog Man one year while driving with a friend down a a dark part of the highway where the Manistee National Forest crosses into neighboring counties. Whatever it was, it was too skinny to be a bear, and too big to be a coyote, and it appeared to walk partially upright like a baboon. Whetever it was, it scared the hell out of us, and stopped traffic behind us as it made its way to the ditch and into the trees.
Still, most urban legends and old wives tales are simply born out of our deepest fears and insecurities, and many are specifically concocted to prey on such concerns.
Like the old wives tales that say chocolate causes acne, staying out in the cold without a coat causes pneumonia, drinking coffee stunts body growth, or, if you swallow chewing gum, it remains inside your body for seven years. Then there’s my favorite; Wild boars will trample you to death in your sleep if you eat bacon in your bed past midnight.
On the Discovery Channel, there’s a show called “Myth Busters” that specifically tackles stupid myths and urban legends. Like the one about the man who overstuffed his washing machine with laundry, and accidentally wedged himself into the machine, tripped the spin cycle, and got flailed around, spilling laundry detergent and bleach as he was bludgeoned to death. Then, the man's dog relieved himself on the detergent and bleach, causing an explosion.
Has anyone ever believed such a story?
Well the Myth Buster team quickly proved that not only can a moving washing machine easily be stopped by hand, but that detergent and bleached mixed with a doggy puddle does absolutely nothing.
In another episode they debunked the myth that says when you go to get blood drawn at the Red Cross, you are secretly implanted with a mind controlling microchip. After paying a visit to a local Red Cross, they found no medical evidence that proved any device had been implanted.
Well, duh!
Show after show, they disprove one myth after another. Like the idea that a penny, dropped from a skyscraper, can land with enough force to kill a pedestrian on the sidewalk below.
How about the story about the woman who, while swimming, accidentally swallows a fertilized octopus egg, which supposedly gestates in her stomach. Not possible!
Here’s one that I believed for a long time; Daddy long-legs spiders have the most potent venom of all spiders, but is unable to pierce human skin. In actuality, they can pierce human skin, but the venom is quite harmless.
And we’ve all heard that using cell phones while pumping gas can cause an explosion. Some gas stations even tell you to turn your phone off. But a properly-working cell phone poses almost no danger of igniting gasoline, even when surrounded by gasoline vapor with the optimum fuel-air mix for ignition. The bigger risk comes from an electrostatic discharge between a charged driver and the car, often a result of continually getting into and out of the vehicle.
No matter how you slice it, whether it be a tall tale from the days of old, a letter in your inbox warning you not to eat Jarlsberg cheese because it’ll make your tongue fall out, or a typical day at the Fox News channel, it’s just doesn’t pay to believe everything you read and everything you hear.
And if you’re hoping to see Mars at its closest again, give it another 60,000 years. Unless of course NASA is playing jokes on us too.
